Category: Expectations

Why Wait?

“They say we have forever,
but they don’t really know.
They say that we have a future,
but is it really guaranteed?
They say we have time to experience life,
but what if we don’t!
Let us live our lives like we don’t have time.
Let us live wildly.
Let us love freely and passionately.
And don’t assume we do what we do without having reasons.”

– A WISE SOUL

I love this quote/poem because it is so very true! In order to live a fulfilling life, I believe it involves taking risks and not letting opportunities pass you by. It involves chasing your dreams, standing up for what you believe in, and fighting for love. You can’t let the opinion of society hold you back. If you want to do something, you can’t always turn to others to decide for you! Because, putting your happiness in the hands of someone else will never truly satisfy you. You have no idea how much time you have on this earth. Hopefully you’ll get to live a long and fulfilling life- but some don’t. And you can’t just go about life saying ‘well I’m not going to be one of those people who don’t’- well, how do you know? You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, so why wait to tell those close to you that you love them? Why wait to plan your future? Why wait to do something good for someone? Why wait to be the person you want to be? So, who’s to dictate the age you start ‘living’. You’re never too young or old to experience life in a greater intensity. You’re never too young or old to experience real love. You’re never too young to begin, neither are you too old to change.

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Sayings About Time

The trouble is you think you have time.

You truly don’t know how much you care about something until it’s lost.

If not now- then when?

The only thing we should fear is not taking chances.

Today is all you’ve got!

What you are seeking is seeking you.

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

You might as well see so you don’t spend your life wandering or waiting.

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Fixing Our World

article by: Gary Haugen, Gregg Hunter

In the face of massive suffering, one has to ask: Why does such great evil triumph in the world? The histories now written make one thing clear: It could have been stopped. And we missed it.

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

If this is true, then why do good men and women do nothing… Rationally, we understand it’s happening, but we don’t know what it’s really like…

Poverty of compassion

To be honest, do you know what I’m passionate about every day? Me. I am enamored with the shriveled world of me and mine. Most often, my first thought in the morning and my final thought as I drift off to sleep at night revolves around me. I have poverty of compassion.

There are two standards by which we judge events in the world: near or far. If it is near to us, we care about it. If an event is happening on the other side of the world, we have a hard time working up concern or compassion about it: “Out of sight, out of mind” or “It doesn’t affect me personally, so it’s not my problem”.

As I expand my exposure to other peoples, other traditions, other problems, I better identify with the pain in others’ lives and develop a more magnanimous compassion. I am discovering the mysterious joy of opening my heart to the world.

Poverty of purpose

Bending the purpose of my life towards increasingly petty things and away from the grander purpose outside myself.

C.S. Lewis once wrote, “We must picture Hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment.”

Poverty of hope

In the face of overwhelming evil and injustice, we often feel powerless. And that powerlessness paralyzes us and steals our hope. When the problems are so big and so bad, can we really make a difference anyway? Barriers stand in our way that take away our hope. Should we even try? We are paralyzed by the poverty of hope because, first, we underestimate the value of a single life. And second, we underestimate the power of just freeing up our hands and our hearts from unworthy distractions.

What would this nation and world look like if we began to lead with riches of compassion, grandness of purpose, and an abundance of hope?

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The Wake-Up-Call

Realizing that ‘perfection’ is unachievable!

When I feel pressured by expectations of perfection, I tend to have to stop, and sort of take a moment to bring myself back to reality…

Obviously, there is the reality of how our society works, and the things we need to do to ‘make it in this world’, but, there is this what you could describe as a wake-up-call. This wake-up-call is the true reality: the realization that you will never be perfect- it’s that simple. Many people miss this call however, getting so caught up in planning their future and in their efforts to achieve this unrealistic ‘perfection’. Furthermore, even the so-called ‘perfection’ they’re searching for won’t always equate to their greatest happiness.

It is okay to strive for success, but success is not perfection. And often when we’re caught up in this illusion, we forget to acknowledge our own happiness and whether or not what we are doing is for us. We forget why we even want the things we are doing,

It’s like one day we could wake up and realize the life we’re living isn’t our own- we’ve been living out someone else’s idea of a ‘perfect life’.

This could mean living vicariously- through someone else’s life experiences. An example would be when we become parents. We want your children to experience all the things we never got to. By them getting those experiences, in a way we are living through them- but, this isn’t always a bad thing, actually most of the time it’s a beautiful thing.

It could also be because the idea has been drilled into our minds since we were children. The life we are living being solely based on the future our parents had envisioned for us.

We could even go our whole lives on auto-pilot, not even really stoping to ask ourselves what life we wanted in the first place; just doing the things society has deemed necessary to do in order to live up to our expected roles in life.

Nothing will ever be completely perfect; not us, not anyone we meet, not our life, and not anyone else’s life. Some people many have ‘better’ lives, or more opportunities, more privileges, or more things we think that we want. But, that doesn’t mean the quality of their life is any higher than our own.

So, there comes a point in life when we have to ask ourselves…

“Am I living the life I want to live?”

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Discussions on ‘Perfection’

These are quotes from a group discussion on perfection; how the impossible standards of perfection can steer us away from reality and what is really important

“We are programmed to seek perfection.”

“I say I’ll have fun when the work is done- but the work is never really done”

“I feel like real life is getting lost.”

“We are losing sight of what’s really important in life.”

“Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.”

“I tend to have severe judgements of others- expecting everyone else to meet my standards- sometimes I don’t even realize I am doing it.”

“The most important thing we need to remember is to keep things in perspective.”

“Take a deep breath… and open your eyes.”

“We can’t let expectations rule us.”

“The only person I should be comparing myself to… is myself from yesterday.”

“You don’t have to be good all the time.”

“The world goes on- life goes on.”

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About MEN- true or not?

Men require intimacy and emotional connection, much more than women. They are conditioned to suppress their feelings, and their girlfriends are often the only way they can get in touch with those parts of themselves. While men may fall in love rarely, they fall harder and faster than women. Once a man’s heart is broken, it takes much longer to heal than that of a woman.

A lot of men truly believe they aren’t “worthy” of the women they want. And not only that, it has created unrealistic expectations when it comes to women. They will drop women at the earliest sign of non-interest, and basically put in as little effort as possible, which I think is ridiculous. They would rather not go through a situation at all than to deal with the sadness that comes at the end when many relationships don’t work out.

If you have self-confidence, and you believe you are worthy of someone’s love- you will find someone. Most guys think they aren’t something* enough: not fit enough, not tall enough, not handsome enough, not rich enough, not interesting enough, etc. Guys think that just because they don’t fit the typical image of what a man is supposed to be like, they don’t deserve a good looking/overall good girl.

Guys have feelings/problems just like girls; they have image problems, and self-confidence problems; guys can have eating-disorders and breakdowns. A lot of it stems from a man’s pride and how it is seen as weak if they admit to having these problems- which it shouldn’t be. There of-course is the male ego, which in truth you have to be gentle with. They want to be able to discuss their desires, concerns, and opinions without fearing an emotional reaction of hurricane proportions.

Men are only afraid of their freedom, if you make them the center of the entire universe, and the sole reason for your happiness. They fear finding out that the person they’re with may not be perfect, because it reveals the imperfections in themselves as well. True intimacy is hard work and they’re afraid of the buried things they might discover when digging everything up. Such men may believe they want a real relationship, but only put in five percent of the effort rather than the full 50 or even more, and foolishly expect something fulfilling and satisfying. They’re waiting for the one who is good enough for them, but no one will ever be. 

Guys are not afraid of commitment- they just need to be very sure. They have feelings, it is just more difficult for them to express them. The male ego is very prevalent, and you need to be gentle with it. Men need freedom and independence; a little leeway. They want to feel like they can discuss their feelings without an overdramatic reaction.

Guys want honest communication; self-sufficient, secure, confident women; a manipulation-free relationship; growth, personal responsibility, and ownership; commitment; and women who know how men want to be treated.

*compiled from a variety of sources
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Seeking Love vs. Ambition

“And so it is of human life the goal to seek, forever seek, the kindred soul.”

but

“May the limitations of love not cast a spell on the serious ambitions of the mind.”

  • You shouldn’t give up a chance at love in order to reach your goals
  • You shouldn’t give up your dreams just for a chance at love
  • Falling in love shouldn’t stop you from achieving those goals
  • You shouldn’t have to choose between love and success
  • But you do have the right to choose
*IN THE TIME OF THE BUTTERFLIES- THE MIRABAL SISTERS
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