When my life was falling apart and all I could think about was how lonely I was and how everyone around me seemed so happy and in love, a dear friend of mine told me to every night before I fall asleep, take a second to write down a quality that I would want in a future partner, that way once I built this list I could start to look for these qualities in people I meet. He said that this list would help me to know when the person is right and worth my time.
I recommend doing this if you are feeling lonely, or you just feel stuck in terms of your love life. It is something simple, yet very reassuring. It’s a small act that gave me hope, and something I wanted to share with all of you. 😊
The invisibility of the cracks in the rocks foster the illusion of permanence—a false pride of perfection and durability. If the cracks were obvious, the rocks would appear imperfect, weak and at the mercy of the elements. The poem refers to a stubborn pride, impervious and unfeeling.
The poet is comparing this with the way that a person can be hurt and never show it; but their internal damage is such that at some later date they may suddenly crumble.
The poet chose a seal to catalyze the crack—the most natural and innocuous-seeming creatures, feelings, or things can have an effect when opposed to stubborn elements.
The poet thinks people are rock-like and that people must be adaptable or they, too, will break. Rocks in their motionless state seem safe and people sometimes stagnate under a similar illusion of security.
You have almost certainly known people who seemed to be able to deal with what life threw at them, but then suddenly and unexpectedly ‘went to pieces’. This is what the poem is talking about.
As a child, I used to think there were monsters under my bed. As I grew older, these monsters seemed to disappear. Little did I know, they were still there. These monsters were in my head, only they were real this time. Although, they weren’t the kind of monster that grabbed your feet and pulled you under the bed. They were the kind that dwelled within you and fed you poison, lies, and hate. They made you fear things, hate yourself, and hate the world. These monsters were the same monsters I once feared, but now they were real demons inside me.
Are there ever days where you wake up and just feel tired and worn out for no apparent reason? Days where you don’t want to get out of bed, where you don’t feel particularly happy, but then you don’t really have any reason to be sad? Days where you feel less motivated, or are less passionate about the things you normally care about?
I believe that a lot of people feel this way at times. They don’t know why they feel this way, but they do. Sometimes it can make them feel guilty, because they know there’s no reason why. Day after day they put on a smile even though they don’t really mean it. They pretend that everything is fine, although something isn’t quite right, they just can’t put a finger on it…
“Sleep doesn’t help, if it’s your soul that’s tired.”
-a wise soul
I found this quote and I feel that it speaks to this scenario. I believe that in these moments where you feel tired or sad for no apparent reason, it may be because of your soul rather than your physical body. Your soul has lost its energy and needs restoration. Unlike your body, damage to your soul is much more difficult to pin-point. It could be because of a number of reasons, or just one thing that you’re holding onto deep within; maybe something you are refusing to acknowledge. You could still be able to function normally, but that doesn’t mean you are fine from within.
Soul loss:
“Whenever we suffer a physical or emotional trauma it is said that a part of our soul flees the body in order to survive the experience. With every cut and wound, our essence and vitality grows weaker. This process is called ‘Soul Loss’.
When we experience Soul Loss, we begin experiencing feelings of weakness, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and emptiness. We just know that something is missing from our lives, but many of us struggle to discover what exactly that is.
Addictions, eating disorders, identity disorders, post traumatic stress, depression, codependency, narcissism, low self-esteem, and adjustment disorders are all common causes for Soul Loss.”
I’m so tired. I’m tired of painting a smile on my face. I’m tired of rejection. I’m tired of trying to explain who I am to people I’ve known my whole life. I’m tired of trying to be a neutral party when one side is so clearly out of line.
I’m tired of everything that I say being wrong. I’m tired of everything that I do not being enough. I’m tired of ending up on the losing end of every discussion. I’m just tired of talking. I’m tired of consistently falling short of everyone’s expectations. If they don’t know me, why do they get to have expectations of me?
I’m tired of considering their feelings when they never consider mine. I’m tired of being told there’s nothing wrong with me, that I’m just making it up. I’m tired of hearing ‘you’re not anxious, you’re just overdramatic’. I’m tired of being told ‘just cheer up’.
I’m so tired of being constantly watched. I don’t need to be inspected and I definitely don’t want my every move, my every action judged. I would love it if people could just let me be… leave me alone…
I’m tired of people taking advantage of me. I’m tired of everyone always wanting help from me but never wanting to help me.
The true masterpiece behind the song “Don’t Stop Believin'”- Journey
Compiled from author: Tristar
The song is about the common search for love and the fear of loneliness. The lyrics are focusing on a metaphor for all of the things we use to fill the void in our lives so we don’t feel the pain of emptiness and loneliness.
Yes, it’s a lonely world, and finding someone is hard, but hope makes it all bearable (believing that there is someone there for you). It also addresses escaping from your past, whatever it may be, and looking toward a better tomorrow.
There is a commonality between us all, regardless of our backgrounds, the loneliness of adolescence, escaping from your past.
We are so desperate to not be lonely that we’ll form a relationship simply on the basis of a smile (again metaphorical, though often literal). This scene is repeatedly played out day in and out – we’re all searching for love and companionship.
“Strangers waiting”: We are all strangers to each other, no one has experienced exactly what you have, and there is a certain inherent isolation in that. Everywhere, every town, every person, through all life experience.
Shadows are our own inner darkness (or demons, our deepest secrets). We are haunted by our personal ghosts, and are seeking someone who will understand and relate to us despite who we are. The shadows aren’t really seeking (since shadows aren’t actually anything, but the absence of light), but us seeking someone with whom we can share who we really are.
What we project ourselves to be to the world – how we want people to see us.
“Living just to find emotion”: We are isolated and seeking meaningful relationships, but willing to settle for something to make us feel less empty, so we will fill that void with any sort of connection. Any sort of superficial emotional connection seems to be preferable to being alone in the darkness.
Putting forth a great deal of effort to make those connections, the fact that we often substitute cheap thrills (sex?) for true meaning and connection in relationships.
We will sacrifice a great deal to avoid being lonely, even if the reward is fleeting.
“Some will win, some will lose”: Some will find a true, meaningful relationship, some won’t, some never will.
This cycle goes on and on, just the players change over time.
Don’t give up hope, keep searching for that meaningful relationship regardless of how difficult and trying the search is.
Hope's Corner 