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More About Happiness

The Importance of Striving for Happiness

“Happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life, with a sense of meaning and satisfaction.”

“Take life day by day, it is a life-long process that involves continuously checking in with yourself.”

“Who actually turns their life upside down to strive for happiness above all else?” -Jennifer Lachs. People often forget how important happiness is in their lives. Youth often lose sight of what will truly make them happy as they begin their adult lives. Whether it’s from the pressures and responsibilities of life, or living up to others’ expectations, happiness is put aside. Also, when choosing a career and getting a job, people have a tendency to focus on things that seem more important at the time. Sure, our own happiness can be pushed off for a short while, but it is important to acknowledge the role it plays in our lives.

Firstly, we need to recognize what happiness is. Happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life, with a sense of meaning and satisfaction. In other words, happiness is being content with the life you are living. Each person’s state of happiness is different because each person has their own idea of what will make them happy, yet ultimately it is fulfillment, contentment, and a general sense of joy. Happiness starts within ourselves; it involves recognizing the state we are in and being honest about why we aren’t happy.

So many things can prevent a person from being happy or from seeking out happiness. Such things include fear, comparison, accountability, expectations, stress, insecurity, or just not living in the present. Some people aren’t happy simply because they can’t be content with what they have materially; they have this illusion that more will equal a greater happiness. Yet, happiness is not about just wanting more. Another reason people aren’t happy is because they focus on all the bad things in the world. To be honest, being happy is hard in this world where there is so much hate, discrimination, and stereotyping. Nevertheless, happiness is not unrealistic.

Of course happiness is not the only important thing in life, nonetheless it should be a priority. I know it’s easier said than done as the responsibilities of life weigh down on us; what’s expected of us, and all the other things we tend to put before happiness. Some people think happiness is selfish, saying perhaps that being ‘useful’ is more important. Maybe from one perspective that is true, but we can be both useful and happy, as well as many other things at the same time. Furthermore, if you are happy in life, you are most likely going to have a positive outlook and enjoy doing your work.

One step towards true happiness later in life can come from living in the moment and enjoying the journey. Take life day by day; it is a life-long process that involves continuously checking in with yourself. So dear everyone, don’t forget to be happy as you move forward throughout your lives. Life is truly too short, so make sure you enjoy it!

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Love; A Basic Human Need

Love is what every human being craves for; whether it be romantic love, the love of a friend, or the love of family. We desire the tenderness and affection that comes with real love. That sense of belonging, understanding, support, attraction; someone to be intimate with in all aspects of our life.

Humans create love out of strong, personal bonds. Love gives us the assurance that we are not alone in this world. We use love to drive us in what we do in life. It drives us to connect soulfully with another. Love gives us reassurance and purpose in life. Without the fulfillment of feeling loved or loving something else, a person does not have the motivation to achieve anything.

A love between family members is much easier because there is a bond created in those types of relationships from the very beginning. Love between romantic partners must be built from scratch and it takes work.

I think we all want love, just sometimes it’s hard to admit in a way. Some people are embarrassed to actually say they want love. But really it shouldn’t be that way, because everyone has that same desire for love. And there is a difference between ‘loving’ a person, and being ‘in love’ with someone.

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A Perspective On Teenagers

Quotes from: Stephen Marche

*I found Marche’s work to have a very unique and interesting perspective on teenagers. These are some of the pieces that stood out to me!

Teenagers are icons of purity in a corrupt adult world

Their only redemption is in the love they preserve against the despair everywhere around them

Beautiful not despite their absurdities but because of it

They are beautiful because they do not fit. They’re too much themselves and not enough

But actually they interpret us

In a way they are being denied adolescence

Teenagers grow up, develop a sense of humor, get married, have kids, move to the suburbs, and become boring.

A suburban life of blandness and boredom kills them before they’re even dead

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The Beauty Of Living

“It’s no wonder that we sometimes cannot hear any ‘thunder’ in our life.”

-a wise soul

Life itself is so much bigger than our own narrow view can see.

We are often so preoccupied with the daily routines of life that we don’t take the time to actually stop and appreciate it. People are often overwhelmed by the pain and suffering that exists in their own life and in the world around them that they distance themselves from reality. They associate it with only pain: broken relationships, unsatisfying jobs, divides in families, war, poverty. But this life is just what we’re stuck with, so we have to seek out the good. Life’s a process; it involves change and growth, making mistakes, wasting time, being disappointed. We sometimes miss things the first time around. However, if we would just take a deeper look at reality and really look at our life goals, we might get a better sense of ourselves. In turn, that will help us find the signs of hope amidst our struggles. It might help people see the wonders of life rather than just the pain.

We don’t even look up to see the sheer beauty of life.

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Everything Wrong With The Standard Of Perfection

Today we live in a society that does not take good as being good enough. You have to be perfect. However, you can’t be perfect in just one part of your life; you have to conquer many skills in order to really be perfect.

But perfection is an impossible standard; it is an expectation that is simply impossible to reach. Nevertheless, it is constantly expected of us. 

Chasing perfection actually causes people to achieve less than those who have realistic standards.

On the other hand, excellence is the unlimited ability to improve the quality of what you have to offer. The foundation of lasting self-confidence and self-esteem is excellence. “The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”―Confucius. It is working towards being your best self; not a perfect self.

Yet, most of us don’t even reach this greatness; and the reason is because we hold ourselves back. Really it’s from the fear of not being perfect. We are so afraid of making mistakes, being vulnerable, and showing others our brokenness.

One week you can be on top of the world, and the next you could be at the very bottom of it- but that’s just life.

Sometimes your best self isn’t really that spectacular to others. But your greatness will always be different than another’s- so try not to worry too much.

You’ll never have everything figured out, even if you’re living your best life! Although some might disagree, happiness should be a priority, even if its not considered ‘crucial’ in the minds of society.

Really what’s the point in living a life that you’re not happy with?

Sometimes you have no choice, and you can’t really change things. But, if you can then go for it! Don’t let fear and society’s opinion hold you back. If you find happiness grasp it and hold it tight, don’t let anyone make you let it go.

Conclusion:

Stop striving for perfection because you’ll never be perfect- and that’s okay. Also, consider reevaluating a relationship if you feel that is what’s constantly being expected of you:))

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Why Striving For Happiness Is Not Selfish

article by: Jennifer Lachs, Huff Post

Hands up if you like cheesy quotes! Something along the lines of “Happiness never goes out of style,” or “Don’t worry, be happy.” They sound and look great on posters, mugs and Pinterest walls, and are usually about passions, following your dreams or doing what makes you happy.

But who really follows their advice? Who actually turns their life upside down to strive for happiness above all else? Reading and sharing these quotes on Facebook is fine, but actually following their message would be crazy, right? Wouldn’t that be completely selfish?

Sadly, for many of us, happiness has been pushed down the priorities list. It’s more important to be sensible, have a good career, and keep up with the Joneses. Happiness has become a luxury reserved for vacations or kids.

After all, kids are allowed to be happy, and they’re supposed to be. Most parents want nothing more for their kids than to find their dream jobs, dream partners and to live long and happy lives. However, most adults wouldn’t describe themselves or their lives as particularly happy. So where did our childhood dreams go astray? At what point did happiness stop being a priority, the ultimate goal even, and become something seen as selfish?

For many of us, it starts going downhill when we start choosing our career path. When kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up, they pick fun jobs, like a ballerina, fireman, or astronaut. Most parents would be horrified if their three-year-old announced their ambition to be an accountant or analyst. But, somewhere between elementary school and high-school graduation, the focus shifts from what makes us happy, to doing the grown-up thing.

Following your passions won’t pay the bills, so pick a sensible major, pursue a stable, well-paid career (no matter how boring), get a mortgage and save for retirement. All before you’re even legally allowed to order a beer. Happiness just gets lost along the way.

Which well-respected accountant with a family would leave his stable job to pursue a career as a magician? What single mom would take her kids out of school for a year to travel the world? It’s easy to see why adults feel guilty for deciding to follow their dreams; for putting happiness first. People like the accountant-turned-magician and globetrotting mom are often condemned as irresponsible. We are programmed to put safety and stability first – wouldn’t only selfish people value their own happiness more.

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“Brutal Truths About Life”

author: @M_tthewJones

1. You’re going to die and you have no idea when.

2. Everyone you love is going to die, and you don’t know when.

3. Your material wealth won’t make you a better or happier person.

4. Your obsession with finding happiness is what prevents its attainment.

5. Donating money does less than donating time.

6. You can’t make everyone happy, and if you try, you’ll lose yourself.

7. You can’t be perfect, and holding yourself to unrealistic standards creates suffering.

8. Your thoughts are less important than your feelings and your feelings need acknowledgment.

9. Your actions speak louder than your words, so you need to hold yourself accountable.

10. Your achievements and successes won’t matter on your death bed.

11. Your talent means nothing without consistent effort and practice.

12. Now is the only time that matters, so stop wasting it by ruminating on the past or planning the future.

13. You are the author of your life’s story.

14. Your words are more important than your thoughts, so start inspiring people.

15. Investing in yourself isn’t selfish. 

16. It’s not what happens, it’s how you react that matters.

17. You need to improve your relationships to have lasting happiness.

18. Pleasure is temporary and fleeting, so stop chasing fireworks and start building a constellation.

19. Your ambition means nothing without execution–it’s time to put in the work.

20. Time is your most valuable asset–you need to prioritize how you spend it.

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One Single Moment; Our Life Decisions

“In a moment, we can decide to do something that will change the shape and trajectory of our lives. All it takes is a moment. In that single, solitary moment, a million different things that can alter your life for years and decades to come.

In fact, those decisions seem rather simple to make. They seem to happen in a moment, suddenly hitting us like a ton of bricks from nowhere.

However, those decisions don’t come from out of the blue. They don’t simply materialize into our lives. They build steam over time, working their way through our subconscious minds, searching for supporting evidence and clues to help ensure that we’re deciding to do the right thing.

As the greatest pattern recognition system in the world, the mind is always searching for clues. It’s always searching to support its decisions, while reinforcing its values and beliefs, whatever those might be. But the mind also has to be directed. It has to be focused towards one end or another. As the mind’s focus shifts, it looks for supporting evidence towards that end, gathering all the patterns it can recognize that will support its claims.”

-Wanderlust Worker

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Loving Yourself

“How can I love you
If I can’t even love myself?

How can I love my life
If I don’t love living?

How can I bare to exist?”

Well, the answer is you can’t.

You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else—plain and simple.

People who don’t love themselves, who have negative self-views, are often drawn to those who see them in the same way—worthless. Low self-esteem can be associated with feeling less deserving of happiness, which leads to people accepting cruel and manipulative treatment because they feel they can’t get anything better. BUT THAT IS NOT TRUE AT ALL! Everyone is deserving of happiness and love. Nobody should feel they deserve cruel treatment.

And as far as existing,

when you love yourself you’ll be able to see the joys in life and find a reason to live. Loving life leads to living rather than just existing— BE PRESENT!

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“Who Am I?”

article by: Aadira S. Purushothaman

Everytime someone asks this question, I go blank and then I ask myself who am I?

Who am I?

Sometimes even I don’t know. Looking back into my life, very little has turned out the way I had planned. Back then, I made a list of all the things I wanted when I grow up, all the qualities I wanted in an eternal companion— the most important goal in my life. There are not enough eye rolls in the world to share how I feel about that list now. Especially when eternity isn’t somethig I can even grasp anymore. Because eternity is right now— in this very moment. It is in a child’s laugh, a touch of hand, my feet caressed by waves as I plunge into the ocean and staring into the eyes of someone I love without speaking. This is why I write. This is why I am sharing myself now.

This is I am.. This is how I love.. This is how I live.

I used to live for tomorrow—for that eternity—hoping I was good enough, doing enough, trying hard enough. And I was missing all of the right nows.

I’ve recently discovered that as human beings, the labels and words we use to explain who we are don’t always match up with what we do. And it is when our actions align with what we say that we are truly being who we are. But this is scary, because sometimes our image of ourselves is not accurate.

I have believed myself to be an open, honest person—desiring authenticity from those I love while sometimes holding back when the same has been asked of me. This is one of my deepest regrets. Vulnerability is frightening; there is so much to risk and lose. We can be rejected for all that we are by those we hold dear. And in my becoming, in my sharing of who I am, I have lost so much.

Fear tells me to run the f*ck away, usually. And I am good at running away. My heart tells me to lean in and be open and honest—to be who I say that I am.

For we all desire to love and be loved—to matter. And to have the freedom to love and be loved as we truly are. Maybe in sharing who we are, we will become the manuals we so desperately needed when we were younger. We will be able to match what we say with what we do.

It’s surreal how someone we love can be here one minute and gone the next; it changes our existence, forever. And it is for this reason, and because we don’t know what comes after this life, that we only have this one moment—this right now.

So we should lean in more to that heart-thundering fear and desire to be vulnerable so we eventually grow into who we say we are.

Do not fear.

Do not hold back.

Tell who you are and what you feel about yourself.

For me, this is what comes to my mind when I am asked to answer this question.

I hope I expressed here about myself.

But still.. Who am I?

https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-person-answer-the-question-Tell-me-something-about-yourself-in-a-social-situation-not-in-a-formal-setting-like-a-job-interview

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